Who says what is right and what is wrong? It’s easy to let society’s “norms” dictate how you should act, impact how you should feel, and all other aspects of your life.
To some degree, that’s ok. It’s good to get along with “society” as a whole. But it’s not always the right choice.
Certainly, everyone’s lives are different. What works for one person or family might not work for another. So, who are YOU letting dictate the rules that you live by?
I was coaching a struggling woman over Zoom not too long ago and she was dealing with a lack of confidence in a life choice. She had set up her own barriers of thought on what would happen if she did one thing versus another.
I calmly said to her: “Who says?” “Who says” that this thing or the other thing will happen? Who is making that judgement on you and your life? She lost all expression; I could tell that the light just turned on for her.
She looked back up at me and said “I’ve never heard it said that way before.” She went on to detail how she had been putting up her own roadblocks to her life’s decisions because SHE thought one or another outcome would happen. But it never occurred to her that if she just made a choice and pursued it, that her “expected” outcome (which wasn’t great) isn’t set it stone. She saw that only by moving forward (again, one way or the other) would she finally know for sure. She quickly grasped that even if she made the “wrong choice”, she would know, and could then reassess and make the right choice. What was hindering her the whole time was her indecision based on her preconceived outcomes.
So, who says? Who is judging your actions? If it’s you, what would happen if you started judging yourself more favorably? I would hope it would lead to good things!