Divorce is a “state level” action, meaning each state treats divorce differently. But the overall process is largely the same. Much like a drivers license is given by one state, it is honored in the others – same with divorce.
Here’s what to expect when divorcing:
Someone will have to “file for divorce”. In Massachusetts, this form is called the “Complaint for Divorce“. It doesn’t really matter who files it (you or your spouse), although some attorney’s prefer that they are the first to file. There’s a bunch of information that needs to be filled out and submitted, along with a reason for divorce. In most cases, the reason will be something like an “irreconcilable breakdown of the marriage”. This form is submitted to the court then it has to be served on the other person. This is typically done by a constable, but can be done by anyone who is not a party to the divorce. This can be nerve wracking! Yes, this is the random knock on your door and someone hands you a piece of paper and says “you’ve been served”. Please try to understand that this is a formality – you’ve done nothing wrong – it’s just how the document is first presented to you.
You’ll then have to respond to the complaint for divorce in some amount of time. This is typically where you’d consult with an attorney.
One thing to remember, when you file for divorce there is a “temporary restraining order” placed on your finances. This is so neither party (you or your spouse) goes out and buys a boat or liquidates your joint savings account and goes off gambling. It’s meant to be a protection for both parties, but it does sound like something bad.
As with many things in life, once you start a divorce proceeding, there are a number of required steps that have to be taken. One of those steps is exchanging Financial Statements. This step can be very emotionally taxing. You literally have to outline ALL your financial accounts (think: bank accounts, credit cards, 401K, and any other assets (cars, etc.) – the aforementioned boat, etc. and what they are all worth). As if that wasn’t enough, there’s a certain amount of time that you have to exchange – I believe it’s 3 years worth of information. So yes, you have to get 3 years of bank statements, etc. and send those to your soon-to-be ex-spouse. It feels incredibly invasive, so mentally prepare yourself for this task.
Then there will be a set of meetings (typically between lawyers) to discuss various things (schedules for the kids if you have any) and the like.
But always remember, not all lawyers are equal. You don’t always need the “best” or “most expensive” but you do need one who values YOU as a client.
To discuss what’s going on in your divorce (or to get prepared for a divorce filing), please contact me or book an appointment and we can get deeper into all of this!